Really, Man...

So, I've been following this End of the World, Judgement Day business for the last week and I can tell you, these crack pots are giving Christians a bad name. Now, be aware, I have no strong religious compass. Let's just say I was dedicated Nazerene, grew up with Jews, educated Catholic, baptized Baptist, palled around with Muslims, and know the difference between a Buddhist and a Hindu.  In short, my view on religion is slightly skewed.

What I always find so fascinating are the people who try to predict the will of God (or insert your deity here). Now, people, this higher power has to be the most gangster entity known to man. He's got more aliases than the late great ODB. She's got more VIP standing in mostly every religion than P. Diddy does in NYC. It's the only cat that can carry a grudge and forgive all at the same time and it's cool.

Based on the readings in the Christian bible, God's convinced a man to take his people through the desert for 40 years, convinced another old man to build a boat cause She was thinking about flooding the earth for about 40 days-40nights, helped an old woman conceive way past her childbearing years, convinced another man to sacrifice his own son, only to turn around in the last second and change his mind, sent Her own son down to the earth to get mauled by these ig'nant fools, just to show us She ain't playing. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a gangster if I every did hear one.

But I digress.

Back in the day (we're talking robes and sandals, people), apparently, God was real talkative. She'd show up as a burning bush, dust cloud, lamb, whatever and start telling people her plans. In fact, He'd have a laid out precise plan that was as easy to follow as Aunt Jemima's Complete Pancake mix (just add water and stir). If It was dead set on destroying someplace, you best believe there would be dust and pebbles in your path. But somewhere after Jesus, God got real quiet and subtle, or really man just became real idiotic.

Every century and religion has pretty much predicted the End of the World. That God has "spoken" to them and said that this date, this time is when it's all going to be over. And pretty much, we're all still here. I don't know about y'all, but they're making God out to be a punk bitch. Yeah, I said it. Instead of playing the wait and see approach, reading their bibles, praying, tithing, they keep putting God on front street and mouthing off like a playground instigator, "Yeah, God's gonna destroy the world on May 21st, we rising up and you staying here to suffer."

Uh-huh. May 21st was Saturday. It's freaking Thurs-day, May 25th. What have you got to say? "Well, uh, God got His dates mixed up- He's really gonna end the world October 21st." Brother, please, God did not mix up the date. She just didn't tell your ass and he's not gonna tell your ass. Like I keep saying. God ain't a punk; It's a gangster. She's gonna roll up on this Earth one day with His crew and poof: DE-STROY! End of story. No rapture. No Celine Dion serenade up into the Heavenly clouds. Just poof.


Now, you want my take on this End of Days business. You remember how the dinosaurs departed this world? Oh, that's right, we aren't really sure how they died. Was it tar, a meteor, deep cold? Maybe, maybe not. All we know are those big beasts are extinct and eventually, this world is gonna evolve again and only the strong  survive. Till then be strong in your own convictions and stop listening to fools who think they got an in with this higher entity. They'll still be in the line outside the club - with the rest of us.

Pray for me, y'all.