Stop Work Order

It has taken me a long while to actually realize that my brain has apparently put a stop work order on the rest of my body. The holidays had been sweet and fun with little lapses here and there on the work outs, but January and February, things came to a grinding halt. The tools were starting to gather dust. The resources and materials were growing mildew and mold. I glanced around one day and said, "What happened?" between mouthfuls of Funions.

Oh, dear God. My body has gone on strike.

I recently just finished an eight week rehearsal for the famed Providence Newspaper Guild Follies, where I had killed it as "Lizzy Gaga". However, during the process I had let me regime and eating habits fall by the wayside. Cast members had been kind to bring treats to get us through the long rehearsals, but it was stuff like cupcakes, cakes, breads, etc. It wasn't their fault. It was my freaking will power that went into low drive. I was housing this crap, despite bringing healthier alternatives like protein bars and shakes.


I think where I went into serious fail mode was the week of the Follies. Good Lord, the amount of food that I crammed down my pie hole in the midst of two days coulda fed an Ethiopian village. Here is just a breakdown (cover your eyes or ears if you have a weak stomach):

Thursday
- Eggs (about a quarter plate), sausage link (1 mind you) and a handful of potatoes. On top of already having a breakfast sandwich earlier that morn.
- Venus wedding soup about 3 to 4 bowl fulls.
- Venus bread slathered in specially prepared Venus olive oil and tasty fixin's about 4 or 5
- Seafood Scampi (large chunks of lobster, scallops and shrimp) oh wait, and pasta.
- Reisling wine

Friday
- Hoards of snackies all over the place
- Housed some serious chicken salad (minus buns - I did have some sense) wrapped in lettuce and cheese.
- Pre-show glass of Reisling wine (be aware, folks, a cup of Reisling is like a slice of cake) and nibbles of beef.
- Post-show housed a bowl of Lobster Newburg (a Venus tradition), salad, a slab of roast beast, 2 1/2 pieces of breaded cod fish and Chardonnay.

And you would think somewhere in this mind of mine, I would have said, "Ahem, don't you think you should check you caloric intake at this time and STOP CRAMMING YOUR PIE HOLE!" No. You see, apparently, I had gone off the deep end, because it did not stop there. No, sir. Come Saturday I was hot in the kitchen brewing up my White Chili and putting the finishing touches on my red velvet cupcakes with the butter cream cheese frosting. You heard me... BUTTER CREAM CHEESE FROSTING!

The only thing that may have saved those cupcakes was the simple fact that I accidentally used wheat flour instead of white flour. Needless to say, that became null and void when, as my good friend, William, pointed out at the party, the cupcake to frosting ratio was 50:50. However, it was not my contributions to the party that appalled me. No. It was my contribution to housing everyone else's pot that appalled me.

Once again, here is the breakdown:


At home:
- 8 oz. of a protein shake with a banana in it.

- Half a steak and cheese sandwich I shared with P.

At the party
- Mini roast beef wrap
- A plate full of salad drenched in a tasty/tangy dressing
- Chips and guac
- An off the hook, someone-put-their-foot-in-it curry dish that I slathered over some dirty rice (not once but twice)

- A scoop full of my own White Chili (over some dirty rice)

- I can't even remember how many, but let's say I housed a quarter of the Fried Wonton plate
- Two cups worth of Merlot wine (remember, kids, that's like two slices of cake)

- One of my own cupcakes (actually one and a half since I had tested half of one back at the house).

It was Sunday when I woke from this disasterous  meltdown of will power that I realized, "Oh God, I have derailed my efforts." Shame and disgraced just filled me. I was doing so well. I was watching what I was eating and not going overboard. But like an alcoholic you are truly never reformed.

I looked at the calendar on my wall and realized that I had let The Brain continue this "stop work order" on my Temple for far too long. That's when I called a Summit meeting. Sitting down at my mental table with my staff (The Brain, The Heart, The Stomach and The Muscles), we came to a resolution.

We all knew what needed to be done and we all knew how it needed to be done. Stomach kinda blanched at the idea of going back to square one, but she knew that the current materials in the warehouse had to go. The carbs were putting a dimple on the Temple facade and the lack of fruits was causing a flap in the right and left wings. The Muscles were in on the ground work and were ready to get beat up to re-strengthen the foundations. The Brain and Heart came to an understanding that halting the progress was going cause the Temple to deteriorate to itself dilapitated state once again and both had agreed they liked the clearer space.

So, tonight, I will be joining a group of gals in the same boat as myself and trying to get back on track. Pray for me, y'all.