Don't Rush. Flush.

This month Ockie started potty training, but before the tyke was even a year old, he was flushing the toilet like a pro. Sah-wish! Unfortunately, it seems grown folks have an issue with this simple act of kindness. Namely, folks at my job. On my many adventures to the lavatory to handle mine, I am bombarded with the visual evidence of some people's poor house training. You know, the Elmo Potty DVD is not just for kids, grown ups can take some notes, too.

Do you realize not flushing a toilet is a gateway act to other impolite stuff, like no hand washing, nose picking (possibly eating), public belching, pooting? I know the bathroom is the right place to relax, but it is not the place to shirk your duty to your fellow co-workers. How hard is it to pull the handle? I mean we work in a theatre, for God sakes! Those are industrial Johns we're sitting on, made to handle whatever the public throws at it.

I am not ashamed to admit that I check and make sure my business has evacuated the building before I step out my stall. Some cats don't even know the damage they're leaving behind, but poor Maria (our trusty, yet disgusted cleaning lady) does and she is not pleased. And, people, this is not the time, nor the place to be green. A double flush is just necessary. Forget the water bill, forget the planet, people's sensibilities are at stake! We all can't afford to be Sheryl Crow in this piece.

And I don't know about you, but I really don't want to know that it's that Special Time for my co-workers. I already picked up on your PMS last week and really didn't need the confirmation this week, thanks. That's why the job supplied you with a bucket. Use it.

So, in closing, I impart to the nasty-ass individuals at the job a simple motto that I think can help. "Don't Rush. Flush. Take a Moment after a Movement."

This has been a public service announcement of the Lady's Relation Blog. Pray for me, y'all!