A Decade of P and Che

September is a very huge month in the house. Not only is it our son's 2nd birthday or our 3rd wedding anniversary. It is our tenth year together as friends. I know many of you have heard the bumbling, oftentimes mad rantings of a possessed woman when I've referenced P in my blogs. Lord knows, he has never been shown in the best of light. And, true, he has done some stupid, callous things that have incurred my wrath, but (and don't tell him I said so, because I will deny it) I am no perfect angel to his flawed saint.

What has made me and P work for this long? Honestly? P has. In all my years of letting people walk in and out of my life (and sometimes not even giving them a thought once they've gone), P is the only person I cannot see my life without. Even when he gets me boiling mad, there is that part of me that wants to hug him and love him.

So, I want to actually take this blog and exalted Mr. P on the several things I never blogged about him that I think people should know:

Giving his last dime
P is generous to a fault. I can remember this one time when I had been ranting about money and not being able to pay my car note. I was panicked and couldn't turn anywhere else for the shame of it all. P drove to the bank and pulled out all that he had (which hadn't been much) and dumped it in my account without a single "pay me back..." When I asked him why he would do this, his response, "I'd rather let my account go dry then see you stressed like this."

You can't imagine how that made me feel. He was giving me all he had to make me feel secure and stress free. Statistics always reference that money is one of the main killers of a relationship. Couples quibble over a dollar and everything else falls apart around them. Hell, I even read how one guy ended his engagement because his fiancee had $170K worth of debt. Dang! But no matter our money woes, P has always stuck to his word and we've worked together to figure out how to get by. I guess we get the part about, "for richer or poorer."

He's No White Knight, But He'll Do
Many know the story of my Tercel loosing control on 93S. But it was the after effects that stick in my head. P had gotten me back to 63 Merriam and I was a wreck. Crying, sobbing , ranting like an idiot. And he held on to me. Finally, when it had hit me that he had said nothing the whole time, I looked up and he was crying. He just looked at me, stroking my braids, tears rolling down his cheek and he uttered, "When you're phone dropped and the last thing I heard was you scream, I thought I lost you." He said how he racked his brain trying to figure out how to get to me and couldn't. He said he felt lost. That's when I knew. If I could make this 6 foot giant of a man breakdown into tears and express his vulnerablity, I knew I meant a whole lot to P.

Tragedies can bring couples close together, but they can also test the bounds of their love. The one thing I know about P is that no matter what tragedies befall us, great or small, I am assured he will be my shoulder to cry on. I guess we understand, "For better or worse."

Road to Anywhere
Before P, I had only known the four corners of the New England area. I was reluctant to walk outside the lines and see what the other side looked like. But P took my hand and dragged me places that has given me great stories. I will never forget our first road trip to Washington, D.C. to pick up the infamous futon. It was a one day trip, but it was chocked full of adventures. The Intrepid rental that didn't have pull down back seats. P and Jacques trying to load it in. The State Trooper at the gas station, after seeing P held prisoner by the futon in the back seat, commenting, "That's the way to keep'em, girlie. " Driving back in the rain with the window open.

From that first, we knew we'd have an adventure everywhere we went. From ATL to San Fran, there's more fun to be had. Oh, by the way, we still have the futon frame.

Um... Happy Valentine's Day... Daddy
For those of you who know P, he is the talker. He forever has something to say about anything. But there was final one time I was able to silence him. It was Valentine's Day 2008. For a week now, I had suspected something was up with my womanly systems and had decided to do a check. Before we sat down to eat dinner at home, I dipped the stick and left it there. I didn't even mention to P what I had suspected, because a part of me didn't believe it. We joked at the table as we usually did, then I proceeded to clear the table. That's when I remembered, "Oh crap, the Test." I ran into the bathroom and checked the results. "Oh my," was all I thought, then laughed to myself.

Walking out into the livingroom where P was watching TV, I plopped down on top of him with test in hand. He was already talking some mess about something else, when I said, "Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy" and showed him the big ol' positive. P was silent. He was shocked. His mouth hung open. I was in hysterics laughing.

Once he regained his composure and tongue, he couldn't stop yapping about his son and he still is. I don't think I could top another Valentine's Day present.

Loving me for who I am
Many folks have told me how sweet and friendly and charming I am. Some folks have called me a bitch, tempermental and overly dramatic. But no one has truly accepted me for me, like P. He is never afraid to let me know when I'm being mean or need to reel in my claws. But he also reminds me on occasion that I have a tender, loving side and that I really am a good person. I truly cherish the rare moments when he steps outside himself and tells me how my skin is the softest he's every touched or that he loves loving me or that my hair looks nice or that that outfit is sexy.

He ain't romance novel romantic, but he lets me know I am special to him in his own P Diddy way.

On this September 14th, P and I celebrate the first time we said, "I love you." I know it's cheesy y'all, but it is this day that is the most important, because this is the day that we let each other know with three little words that "I can't live without you", "I miss you when you are gone", "I'm broken, fix me", "I can see you having my kids", "I can see being with you forever." And yes, I love you, Big Man. Pray for us, y'all.

Happy Anniversary!